Standing Back-To-Back

Dear friend,

Your simple act of kindness today brought me to tears.

It was a simple thing really. I finally got up the courage to ask for a bit of help, and you said yes. Just like that. You didn’t take time to think about it. You just said yes. And you didn’t just say yes, you insisted that there must be even more you could do to help. And you actually sounded glad that I had asked, which boggles the mind really (or at least my mind). And you even took it one step further and emphatically told me not to ever not ask.

And before I even realized what was happening, or even understood why, the tears began to fall. And I felt a burden lifting. A small burden that yet felt so overwhelming before your easy, gracious answer of yes. This burden that had seemed so big before now seemed…manageable. And that gave me encouragement. Like maybe I could do this—this life thing that I now do so carefully and hesitantly without Roger. And I didn’t feel so alone. And I didn’t feel so “on my own.”

Sometimes I forget that when you ask God for help, sometimes (ok, most of the time) the way He helps is by showing up in the heart and hands and feet of others. And sometimes I forget that God designed us not to be independent, but interdependent.

“Two are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” –Ecclesiastes 4:9-10


“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.” –Ecclesiastes 4:12

Friend, I hope someday you will ask me for help. I hope you will let me show up for you. I hope you will let me stand back-to-back with you and help you conquer whenever you feel “attacked and defeated.” It would be a privilege. A really awesome privilege.

Thank you. Know that I love you and would consider it an honor to stand back-to-back with you anytime, anywhere and on any given day.


6 Comments on “Standing Back-To-Back

  1. What a powerfull reminder to us all how our small acts of kindness can impact someone in a way we may never know.


  2. Liz, you are absolutely right. We have no idea the big impact a small act of kindness can make in someone’s life and how it sometimes may be just the lifeline they needed at that moment. Very good point.


  3. I’m not one to ask for help from others but I love when people ask for my help. I always think I might be bothering someone but never feel bothered when they ask me – I feel honored to be a blessing somehow. I think this is a great reminder that we so need each other, that we are connected through helping each other when we need a lift and that asking for help is an act of faith, too. That we get to let go of something and feel God’s love through his people. Very special tribute to your friend, Debbie and a great reminder to accept the blessings of others.


    • I know what you mean about loving it when I can help someone else but being oh so hesitant to ask for any help myself. …sigh… We’re all such funny creatures, aren’t we? And BTW, although it was friend that inspired this posting, it was actually written in honor of several of who have been so near and dear and helpful to me and the boys this past year. Viva la friends!


  4. Thank you Debbie for you words. Reading how you have coped with a great loss has given me patience and strength as I tend to my wife with late stage Alzheimer’s and its such a long goodby. God has blessed me with the strength and patience to care for her in our home.
    I’m unable to bring her to church now, but manage to attend myself when I have sitter for her.


    • Gary, I cannot even imagine the difficulties you face right now. And if there is any way that my sharing my painful journey can be helpful to someone such as yourself, then I am humbled and grateful. My heart goes out to you and your wife.


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