The Song I Sing
Whenever the reality and trauma of Roger’s suicide would threaten to overwhelm me, I would sing that song.
In the deep, dark of midnight as I lay a jumble of nerves and fear and what seemed unbearable heartache and pain, wondering how in the world I could go on, I would sing this song.
When some would ask me how I could continue to trust in God in the face of all that He had allowed to happen, I would sing this song.
When still others would ask how I could even believe in God anymore, I would sing this song.
And at the end of the day, when there was no one and nothing left but me and Jesus and pain, I would sing this song. To Jesus. With every ounce of courage I could muster, I would sing this prayer to Him.
You can listen to this song if you’d like: If You Want Me To (by Ginny Owens.*)
When I would sing my song (for that’s what it became–my song), I determined, like the character Much-Afraid in the book Hinds Feet On High Places, to follow the Good Shepherd to the high places no matter how difficult the journey. No matter how many times I fell along the way or scraped my knees or cut my hands or caught my foot in a crevice or tripped over debris in my path. I would hold His hand and follow His path and sing my song to Him. And even now, there are still those times when all I can do is sit with my song and my pain and sing my prayer to Jesus.
What about you? Do you have a song? I don’t know what you might be dealing with today, what sorrow or tragedy or fear or difficulty might weigh you down. But I know there is a song for you. Sometimes only a song can adequately express our deepest, heartfelt emotions and feelings—our fears and our hopes, our pain and our joy, our doubt and our faith.
So find your song and when you do, sing it. On any given day or through any bleak-filled, midnight hour, sing your song to Him. And if you ever feel so overwhelmed that you just can’t sing, know that is o.k. too. He will sing over you.
“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” –Zephaniah 3:17